Mark Allen’s Go Slow, Best Medicine Management – The GRV

*** (3 stars)

Mark Allen treats us to a show about leaving behind the panic and ferocity of everyday life. He said that we are losing our humanity because of deadlines, energy drinks and wristwatches. There we sat and listened as he tried to sculpt us into Zen sloths; walking not running, waiting quietly instead of tutting impatiently and saying ‘excuse me’ instead of body slamming other pedestrians into the paths of oncoming buses. I saw the grounds of his argument, but I just couldn’t bring myself to agree.

If you are reading this in Edinburgh during the Festival, the chances are that I have already pushed you over as you stopped, in my way, to admire the castle or a piece of architecture or the sunset. Going slow does not equate to any kind of achievement to me, it’s a fancy name for laziness, it’s the label I used when I worked in a busy bar and couldn’t be bothered to do any work. Don’t get me wrong, I spent the entirety of yesterday sitting in the kitchen drinking tea and reading peanuts comics, but to advocate it as a way of life? Yesterday was spent reading comics because I had spent the day before running about pushing you people into traffic. Going slow is a treat reserved for days off.

Just because I disagreed with the man on just about every detail doesn’t mean it was a bad show. You might even agree with him, especially if someone in a rush has just injured you. At no point did he revert to the tiresome moans about our ‘terrible modern society’ or any kind of dreary sludge about the depravity of modern man. In fact for someone encouraging us to slow down he gave quite an energetic performance, and the fact he was encouraging us to improve our lives and break away and sleep well and eat well and make friends and smile and generally be civilised was all very touching, even if he is trying to create a nation of layabouts.
GRV, running until 29th August, 4.40pm.  Full price £5.

Jonah Sugden